dachshund #3, the model with the volume stuck at 11.


This is Ban. He will be ten years old this year. Ban was a one-pup litter back in 2002, and even though we needed a girl, we kept him just because he was the only puppy from that breeding.

Ban is a sweet dog, very loving and eager to please. He just has one annoying habit—he barks at everything. If there’s a truck driving by on the road 200 feet away, he’ll bark. If there’s someone walking past the property on the way to the pond, he’ll bark. If there’s unfamiliar dialogue on TV in the next room, he’ll bark. And he absolutely, positively cannot run outside without winding up that bark while someone opens the door for him, and then sounding the fanfare as he runs outside through the covered porch. Every. Single. Goddamn. Time.

Now, as I mentioned, he’s a really sweet dog, if a little high-strung, so I’ve put up with that habit of his for ten years now. But if we ever get unwanted nighttime visitors intent on redistributing the valuables in our house, I am almost convinced that this dog will sleep through the whole thing.


9 thoughts on “dachshund #3, the model with the volume stuck at 11.

  1. Jeff The Bear says:

    Sounds like Ban is channeling the spirit of Gretel, the miniature red dauchshund we had growing up. Loving, affectionate, and her idea of heaven (besides an always full food dish) was to curl up on a lap. But she heard EVERYTHING within a 2 mile radius and warned us about it. We knew if a butterfly farted in the next street. If she had a volume control it was broken and stuck at high. But I still miss her even after almost 40 years.

  2. Bing says:

    We know what you mean. Our Doxy Tootsie has a loud mouth also and hearing to match. My wife did’t care for it and taught her to “whisper”. She will just mouth a bark with very little or no sound coming out. Of course it really works best when youi have her food or a treat in your hand. We have taught her several other tricks (usually for food) .Other than that she has US trained pretty darned good. She is now passing on her teaching methods to our small mixed breed. Not bad, a 13 year old teaching a 2 1/2 year old. We will sure miss her whenever she passes away, but we enjoy her every day while we can, Dogs, and cats, sure become a part of the family. I could go on about how our cats have us trained but that’s a whole new world. Take care and thank God for the pets He gave us to care for.
    God bless.

  3. Will says:

    Vets can do an operation to cut the volume. A sister had it done to one of her dogs. Didn’t seem to discourage the dog any. Probably thought it still had noise capability, but it was really like a loud whisper.

  4. Lissa says:

    Random – my boss thinks he wants a dachshund. How do I go about finding reputable breeders?

    • Bing says:

      Check with the AKC, I’m sure they could help you out. Check with other owners also.
      Be aware, Doxys are loyal, smart and loud, and one of the better dogs you can find. Be prepared to give up a lot of love to it.

    • LabRat says:

      Sounds like blogfodder for me for tomorrow. >_>

  5. Tam says:

    It’s just that everything in Ban’s world is SO. FREAKING. IMPORTANT. that everyone needs to know about it RIGHT. NOW.

    Bless his little aerodynamic head, it’s like he’s audibly spamming the universe. (And he’s such a sweetheart, I couldn’t be mad about it, the little hooligan.)

  6. Lanius says:

    I for one would prefer the whistling* dog to a dachshund. (Dachshunds are fine, and I like the independent streak, but Basenji is more fit. It’s also supposedly the oldest breed there is, egyptian tombs have pictures of dogs just like that)

    They don’t bark but can yodel(their vocal cords are smaller), and are less dirty than regular dogs. It’s a hunting breed, so they are more silent than regular dogs.
    They even clean their fur like cats do, and for the same reason. They get along with assertive cats very well, but cowardly cats are seen as prey..

    They also love observing stuff by standing up like meerkats. They are not that good at it, so they like using stuff for support while doing so.

    The only downside is they’re very adept at hunting, and if you don’t keep them on a short leash they’ll feed themselves in cities by taking unwary winged rats right off the sidewalk. Also, they’re so curious and prone to hunting they yard has to be fenced properly, or else they’ll wander off chasing squirrels and the like.

    *also called ‘shrieking dog’, because if angry, they well.. shriek.

  7. Kaerius says:

    I’d prefer an alaskan or sibirian husky on the voice front. They don’t really bark much, but they’ll occasionally howl, or try to “talk”. Youtube search for Mishka for a famous example(alaskan husky). Sibirians are quieter.

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