the return of monday search term safari.

With the WordPress switch to a different stats page, the search terms are once again getting interesting, so I’ve decided to revive the MSTS. Rejoice, citizens! This week’s take is a bit on the concise side, but bear with me as I get back into the groove with this thing.

got fucked by essay

Yeah, those essays can be players, can’t they? They open with a slick paragraph, and then win you over with logic and wit…and before you know it, you’re on your back at 2am in the morning, covered in print-outs of A Modest Proposal and The Essence of Humanism, face buried in the pages of a P.J. O’Rourke book. We’ve all been there, I think.

can you use any usb cable for alphasmart

Yes, any plain old standard A/B USB cable will work.

netbook versus alphasmart ad middle schoolers

One can be used for Facebook and porn and growing pot in FarmVille to sell in MafiaWars, the other one is good for nothing but writing. I’ll let you do the math there, Superintendent.

outragious comments by nancy grace

That could be either a better name for that twunt’s show, or a new perfume. “Outrageous Comments, by Nancy Grace. Ah, that scent of torches and hot blood. Smells like…mob justice.”  Or, for European flair, they can call it Pitchforque.

haggis girl porn

Congratulations–you win this week’s prize for Most Disturbing Fetish. And I’m from Germany, where we know disturbing fetishes.

2011 wrangler million dollar tour

Sadly, that one didn’t come to pass in 2011, mainly because of a lack of a million bucks. But tell you what–pass the hat around and send me a million dollars, and I’ll do a 2012 Wrangler Million Dollar Tour. It will involve a rented luxury bus, and scheduled stops at liquor stores in every one of the lower 48 states.

desk full of drinks

The answer is “What will you find in the hotel rooms at every genre writers’ convention or workshop?”

porsche carrabba

I’m guessing that’s the new Porsche model that comes from the factory with mediocre Italian take-out food in the glove box.

lever rifle and revolver combo

I like the idea. You can have both in the same caliber and feed them from the same ammo box. Plus, lever guns and revolvers are cool. In fact, they should just issue lever-action Winchesters and Ruger Vaqueros to every member of the armed forces, along with white Stetsons and spurs for their boots.

standing desks for sale

It’s really hard to find a reasonably priced one. They have the GeekDesk, which is electrically adjustable, but that one is $800 or more. I got my two standing desks from the fly-blown carcass of Borders when they closed shop. There are desks called “shipping desks” that are used in freight and shipping centers for paperwork, and those are all standing height (and more affordable than the GeekDesk.) In a pinch, you can always do what I did at first and put a $25 WalMart coffee table onto a regular desk.

That’s the take for this week. Now it’s up to you, Internets, to refill the search term repository with weird queries like “what is the purpose of raccoons” or “how i mine for viagra fuk gril”. Get to it!


3 thoughts on “the return of monday search term safari.

  1. Matthew Carberry says:

    I remember one time I had a Spanish paper due and my best friend said he’d write it for me but the day I had to turn it in and asked for it he just said “lol wut?”

    My ese really fucked me that day.

  2. Steven says:

    Welcome back, search term safari!

  3. Gerry N. says:

    In Re: Lever rifle/revolver combination. I don’t have a lever rifle, but I do have the Ruger 10-22 I bought at the White Front store going out of business sale in 1969 for $39.95, and the Western Sherrif .22 SA I picked up at a garage sale for $25.00 in about ’82. I contend that the lowly .22 LR is the best all around rifle and pistol cartridge there is. A box of 50 dumped in your front pocket takes up almost no space and ten or fifteen 500 or 525 round bricks are easily stashed about the pickup and house against hard times. My Dad and Uncles killed hundreds of rabbits, prairie chickens, pheasants and ducks as well as several dozen antelope and deer during the hard years from about 1929 to 1945, all with a .22 bolt action Mossberg single shot. Quiet and lethat when handled by someone who knew what he was doing. That and a box of 50 .22 shorts was cheaper than one .30-30 cartridge. It’s getting that way again and the .22 rifle and pistol with a couple of boxes of ammo will once again defend and feed me and mine.

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